Just Checking In

Yesterday I spent the morning up in Seattle at the hospital. Our ultrasound and visit with the doctor and ultrasound ladies was relatively uneventful. They found some interesting things with the amount of fluid he has in his body that they want to keep an eye on in addition to his other conditions.

Other than that, things seem to be holding at the same levels. We learned more about what to expect when he is born, which will include him being taken immediately to the NICU (Newborn Intensive Care Unit) and possibly a surgery immediately on his heart to help it work until he is a little bit bigger for the open heart surgery. We will get to tour the NICU after Christmas, so I am sure we will learn much more about what to expect at that time.

Now, please forgive this very personal story. But it is something that I feel impressed to share:

I believe that the Lord has blessed me with hymns in my mind to bring me comfort on this journey. I have had several times when this has happened, and I am so grateful for it because music has always uplifted me, strengthened my testimony and brought me great joy in my life. And at this particular time, they bring me great comfort.

After I got back from my appointments and got the girls home yesterday we enjoyed some quiet time. I had the hymn "Be Still, My Soul" in my mind. I sat down at the piano and tried to sing along, but the tears made it too hard. I continued playing it with the words in my mind.

1. Be still, my soul: The Lord is on thy side;
With patience bear thy cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In ev’ry change he faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: Thy best, thy heav’nly Friend
Thru thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

2. Be still, my soul: Thy God doth undertake
To guide the future as he has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: The waves and winds still know
His voice who ruled them while he dwelt below.

3. Be still, my soul: The hour is hast’ning on
When we shall be forever with the Lord,
When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love’s purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul: When change and tears are past,
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.

Katelyn came up and sat on the piano bench with me. She looked up and noticed that I had tears streaming down my face. She jumped down and ran off. When she came back, she had my nice kitchen towel in hand. She proceeded to climb up onto my lap, facing me, to wipe my tears. She said, "Mommy, I'm going to make you happy." Then she kept saying over and over, "It will be okay Mommy." At that point, I couldn't play anymore and I just held her close. When I looked at her again, she had a few tears on her cheeks too.

What a sweet experience! Sometimes little two-year-olds can say the most profound, grown-up things. I know that so many times the Lord helps us through other people, even little children.

I know it will be okay, just like Katelyn said. And I want you all to know that we have frequent experiences like this one with little evidences that we are not alone and that the Lord is very aware of us and is helping us down this road. The road will be long, but I am confident with the help of our Heavenly Father and our Savior Jesus Christ we will be able to do anything, we will be successful, and will be much better people for it.

We are anxious to meet our little guy!